The student office contacted me about the next term, asking me to 'confirm' that I won't be coming back. I wrote them the following letter to explain how shitty they are. It will be interesting to see what they respond back with. Copied below is the letter in full:
Hello,
As requested by Alicia, I'll provide those four points of information.
I'm [student name], an honors student and junior with a 3.84 GPA, and I'm not planning on returning in the fall.
My LU ID is [number].
My reason for leaving is from frustration and disappointment.
My frustrations:
--Two of my classes this semester had required books that the school's bookstore did not have, nor did the bookstore ever get them in despite my repeated requests. I had the book dollars, or flames cash, set aside from the beginning so I could get my books, but I did not have money to get the books from another source, so I got behind in the classes because I couldn't study the books.
--Too many of the professors are incompetent, and I feel like I am not learning enough from this school experience. I've been here for 5+ semesters and I haven't got much to show for it, other than to say, "Yeah, I know how to read a book, and jump through some hoops to meet deadlines."
--For the web design class I took, I just couldn't believe how pathetic the teaching was, and also for the CompTIA A+ training course, the students were promised a voucher to take the A+ exam for free or next to nothing, but then towards the end of the class when I asked the professor about it, he said the school didn't budget for it, so no exam for us.
--I got an email saying I owe the school about $800, and this happens very shortly before the financial check-in is due. It said the balance was from the previous school term, but I'm positive that I had no balance from the previous semester. It's not easy to magically come up with $800 within a few days before the financial check-in. This school had done this to me before, also, and the other time it was for $2,000. The timing for these things is ridiculous. This is the main reason I'm not coming back in the fall, because I couldn't chuck up the money in time before the check-in deadline. I get the impression that this school is unorganized and that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing.
As for where I'm going, I hope it's toward success, but it's doubtful. Despite my almost three years of education and good grades, no one seems interested in taking me on for an IT internship. I've applied to many internships, even had some interviews, but no luck. So much for my education.
If you're touched and want to help me, I'd love to get a job at this school, as I recently became unemployed, and I know I have the vision to make things better. If you know any connections or can put in any kind of "good word" or what have you, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
A Poem I Wrote for my Wife
My favorite dreams of you wash ashore
The spirit of you kissing me
I finally know what it means to be
The heart stirs, and passion rains on a once still garden
Now flying melodies coalesce, giving life, motion, beauty
The shrine prepared of old awakens to what is meant to be
What can be this wondrous cleaving
Two threads interweaving
Binding sweet into one enduring brocade
None can pull apart or hope to fade
The delicate indelibility
Of what we're meant to be
A choice. A destiny. An amorphous patchwork shifting ethereal
So wondrous, so real
In musical precision
The pieces fit
Where it's hit or miss
In wondrous dissolution
Push and pull to merge
Edges tamed through conscious surge
Choice and certainty
Determination amidst constellation
Selection like the stars' decreed foreordination
Together as one
Against all forces
Together we run
Forsake all remorses
I see a true existence lies with you, hun
We blaze through space shot from a gun
The worlds watch us glow
If only they could know
Just how we glow
Oh, how we glow
The spirit of you kissing me
I finally know what it means to be
The heart stirs, and passion rains on a once still garden
Now flying melodies coalesce, giving life, motion, beauty
The shrine prepared of old awakens to what is meant to be
What can be this wondrous cleaving
Two threads interweaving
Binding sweet into one enduring brocade
None can pull apart or hope to fade
The delicate indelibility
Of what we're meant to be
A choice. A destiny. An amorphous patchwork shifting ethereal
So wondrous, so real
In musical precision
The pieces fit
Where it's hit or miss
In wondrous dissolution
Push and pull to merge
Edges tamed through conscious surge
Choice and certainty
Determination amidst constellation
Selection like the stars' decreed foreordination
Together as one
Against all forces
Together we run
Forsake all remorses
I see a true existence lies with you, hun
We blaze through space shot from a gun
The worlds watch us glow
If only they could know
Just how we glow
Oh, how we glow
Glorious Excerpts from among my Favorite Communities
Teehee. I had saved these and thought I'd share. Some are inspiring, some are funny, others are controversial (Oh, I adore controversy, my fellow Vikings.) Can you guess where these quotes come from?
When asked what my political or religious views are, I simply say, "They have killed before and they will kill again."
-------------
There's this religion out there that believes a man who was his own son sacrificed himself to himself. And he did this for billions of people he'd never met. He soon after became a Jewish zombie who can make you live forever after you die if you symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity. This evil force is present because a woman made of a man's rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat some fruit from a magical tree. People believe some silly things.
-------------
Your ego can actually be a fountainhead to progress:
“Most people,” Roark says,”build as they live — as a matter of routine and senseless accident. But a few understand that building is a great symbol. We live in our minds, and existence is the attempt to bring that life into physical reality, to state it in gesture and form.”
"To say 'I love you' one must first know how to say 'I'..."
-------------
"We need a distraction. Let's build a contraption. Life it shall be called, but to us appalled it gives no satisfaction." Thus at once did the gods bustle and withdraw. Now it stirs and sighs as a requiem for what could be more but no one ever saw.
-------------
Dear global economy, we thank thee for thy economies of scale, thy professional specialization, and thy international networks of trade under Ricardo's Law of Comparative Advantage, without which we would all starve to death while trying to assemble the ingredients for such a dinner as this. Amen.
-------------
What we choose to fight is so tiny!
What fights us is so great!
...
When we win it's with small things,
and the triumph itself makes us small.
...
Winning does not tempt that man.
This is how he grows: by being defeated, decisively,
by constantly greater beings.
-------------
"the mind of god is music resonating through the ten dimensions of space"
-------------
The life you're used to and the body you control are not the full scope of the organism of which you are a part.
You are 100 trillion cells in each of 6 billion human beings. your cousins, a thousand times as numerous, are cells comprising the tissues and organs that make ants work. The other 99.9% of you is bacteria, and you've been here for 4 billion years. You are older than the mountains, older than the asteroid belt.
And during this 4 billion years, you have never died. Not all of you. Not once. Some parts of you became damaged and were lost, but you carried on. If your parents hadn't made it, you wouldn't be here right now.
During this 4 billion years we transformed a hostile world into a comfortable one. Or it transformed us. We made the atmosphere breathable and we adapted to breathe it. We made fur, and later, we made other parts of us make fur for the human parts. And the human part of you made tools. Rocket tools that will be of use to all of us very soon. With the help of this human organ, your cellular descendants will leap off this mote of dust into the vast sea of resources beyond. A sea that can support us hundreds of trillions of times more richly than our current home. A sea for our home, to make liveable or to force us to adapt again, as Earth once did.
Rejoice, human, and keep moving forward! You're on to something very big for all of us, though you may not yet know it. We will all reap the rewards of your efforts, soon.
-------------
<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
<hypnosis> (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
<Jck_true> Sweet
<Jck_true> DoS attack!!!
<hypnosis> a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
<hypnosis> 11 men would give 17 petabytes/sec
Comment: ##programming on FreeNode
-------------
That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men and cunning craftiness whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the Truth in love
-------------
Censorship, like communism, seems like a reasonable enough idea to begin with. While 'from each according to his ability and to each according to his need' sounds unarguable, the world has learned that these words call forth a power elite to administer them with coercive force. Such elites are quick to define the needs of their own members as paramount. Similarly 'from each mouth according to its ability and to each ear according to its need' seems harmless enough, but history shows that censorship also requires an anointed class to define this "need" and to make violence against those who continue talking. Such power is quickly corrupted.
The first ingredient of civil society is the people's right to know, because without such understanding no human being can meaningfully choose to support anything, let alone a political party. Knowledge is the driver of every political process, every constitution, every law and every regulation. The communication of knowledge is without salient analogue. It is living, unique and demands its rightful place at the summit of society. Since knowledge is the creator and regulator of all law, its position beyond law commands due respect.
James Madison, Thomas Jefferson and other Enlightenment framers of the US Bill of Rights understood this well when they began the First Amendment's constitutional protections of speech and of the press with 'Congress shall make no law....'.
As knowledge flows across the world it is time to sum great freedoms of every nation and not subtract or divide them. Let us then unite in common purpose for the surest way to protect the freedoms of any nation is to protect the freedoms of every nation.
--wikileaks.org (concerning tibet uprising mar 2008)
-------------
<piercings> A programmer started to cuss
<piercings> Because getting to sleep was a fuss
<piercings> As he lay there in bed
<piercings> Looping 'round in his head
<piercings> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;
Either we are alone in the universe or not; either way, it is mind-boggling...-------------
The average human has two to nine pounds of bacteria in his or her body. Every day, you consume more bacterial cells than there are cells in your body. You have been infected and invaded by more pathogens than you could count in one lifetime. Your body has fought ten trillion battles without your knowledge and the fact that you are sitting in front of your laptop, reading this post means that you have won every single one.-------------
Cleopatra lived closer in time to the first Moon landing than to the building of the Great Pyramid.-------------
When asked what my political or religious views are, I simply say, "They have killed before and they will kill again."
-------------
There's this religion out there that believes a man who was his own son sacrificed himself to himself. And he did this for billions of people he'd never met. He soon after became a Jewish zombie who can make you live forever after you die if you symbolically eat his flesh and drink his blood and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity. This evil force is present because a woman made of a man's rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat some fruit from a magical tree. People believe some silly things.
-------------
Your ego can actually be a fountainhead to progress:
“Most people,” Roark says,”build as they live — as a matter of routine and senseless accident. But a few understand that building is a great symbol. We live in our minds, and existence is the attempt to bring that life into physical reality, to state it in gesture and form.”
"To say 'I love you' one must first know how to say 'I'..."
-------------
"We need a distraction. Let's build a contraption. Life it shall be called, but to us appalled it gives no satisfaction." Thus at once did the gods bustle and withdraw. Now it stirs and sighs as a requiem for what could be more but no one ever saw.
-------------
Dear global economy, we thank thee for thy economies of scale, thy professional specialization, and thy international networks of trade under Ricardo's Law of Comparative Advantage, without which we would all starve to death while trying to assemble the ingredients for such a dinner as this. Amen.
-------------
I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness
-------------
A pizza with the radius z and thickness a has the volume pi*z*z*a
-------------
stop complaining - start a revolution.
-------------
Nature wastes life in search of better life. It mutates DNA, creating failure after failure, in the hope that some new sequence will eventually outcompete those that came before and the species will evolve. In other words, nature tests its creations by killing most of them quickly—the battle "red in tooth and claw" that determines reproductive advantage.
Nature is so wasteful because scattershot strategies are the best way to do what mathematicians refer to as fully exploring "the potential space." Imagine a desert with two pools of water separated by some distance. If you're a plant growing next to one of those pools, you can follow one of two different reproductive strategies. You can drop seeds near your roots, where there's a pretty good chance they'll find water. This is safe but soon leads to crowding. Or you can toss the seeds to the wind and let them float far away. This means that almost all will die, but it's the only way to find that second pool of water, where life can expand into a new niche, perhaps a richer one. The way to get from what the mathematicians call a local maximum to the global maximum is to explore a lot of fruitless minima along the way. It's wasteful, in a sense, but it can pay off in the end.
-------------
Oh Seatbelt who art in auto
Tight be thy name
Thy Chrysler come
Thy latch be done
in Saab as it is in Nissan
Give us this day
Our daily hold
Forgive us our speeding
As we forgive those who tailgate behind us
And lead us not into tree
But deliver us from Domino's
For thine is the holddom, and the
powersteering, and the glory,
forever and ever,
buckle in.
-------------
Collections of neurons are just one way of achieving the mathematical phenomenon of the illusion of self-guiding chaos.
-------------
the meaning of life is to have sex and pass on your genes. that is all. But the meaning of human consciousness is to explore, to learn, to create, to yearn and to dominate, and to hopefully before the end.... change the universe.
-------------
What we choose to fight is so tiny!
What fights us is so great!
...
When we win it's with small things,
and the triumph itself makes us small.
...
Winning does not tempt that man.
This is how he grows: by being defeated, decisively,
by constantly greater beings.
-------------
"the mind of god is music resonating through the ten dimensions of space"
-------------
The life you're used to and the body you control are not the full scope of the organism of which you are a part.
You are 100 trillion cells in each of 6 billion human beings. your cousins, a thousand times as numerous, are cells comprising the tissues and organs that make ants work. The other 99.9% of you is bacteria, and you've been here for 4 billion years. You are older than the mountains, older than the asteroid belt.
And during this 4 billion years, you have never died. Not all of you. Not once. Some parts of you became damaged and were lost, but you carried on. If your parents hadn't made it, you wouldn't be here right now.
During this 4 billion years we transformed a hostile world into a comfortable one. Or it transformed us. We made the atmosphere breathable and we adapted to breathe it. We made fur, and later, we made other parts of us make fur for the human parts. And the human part of you made tools. Rocket tools that will be of use to all of us very soon. With the help of this human organ, your cellular descendants will leap off this mote of dust into the vast sea of resources beyond. A sea that can support us hundreds of trillions of times more richly than our current home. A sea for our home, to make liveable or to force us to adapt again, as Earth once did.
Rejoice, human, and keep moving forward! You're on to something very big for all of us, though you may not yet know it. We will all reap the rewards of your efforts, soon.
-------------
<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
<hypnosis> (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
<Jck_true> Sweet
<Jck_true> DoS attack!!!
<hypnosis> a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
<hypnosis> 11 men would give 17 petabytes/sec
Comment: ##programming on FreeNode
-------------
That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men and cunning craftiness whereby they lie in wait to deceive; but speaking the Truth in love
-------------
Censorship, like communism, seems like a reasonable enough idea to begin with. While 'from each according to his ability and to each according to his need' sounds unarguable, the world has learned that these words call forth a power elite to administer them with coercive force. Such elites are quick to define the needs of their own members as paramount. Similarly 'from each mouth according to its ability and to each ear according to its need' seems harmless enough, but history shows that censorship also requires an anointed class to define this "need" and to make violence against those who continue talking. Such power is quickly corrupted.
The first ingredient of civil society is the people's right to know, because without such understanding no human being can meaningfully choose to support anything, let alone a political party. Knowledge is the driver of every political process, every constitution, every law and every regulation. The communication of knowledge is without salient analogue. It is living, unique and demands its rightful place at the summit of society. Since knowledge is the creator and regulator of all law, its position beyond law commands due respect.
James Madison, Thomas Jefferson and other Enlightenment framers of the US Bill of Rights understood this well when they began the First Amendment's constitutional protections of speech and of the press with 'Congress shall make no law....'.
As knowledge flows across the world it is time to sum great freedoms of every nation and not subtract or divide them. Let us then unite in common purpose for the surest way to protect the freedoms of any nation is to protect the freedoms of every nation.
--wikileaks.org (concerning tibet uprising mar 2008)
-------------
<piercings> A programmer started to cuss
<piercings> Because getting to sleep was a fuss
<piercings> As he lay there in bed
<piercings> Looping 'round in his head
<piercings> was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;
-------------
"Tigers got to eat, birds got to fly, man got to ask himself why, why, why? Tigers got to sleep, birds got to land, man tells himself he understands."
Kurt Vonnegut's explanation:
I wanted all things
To seem to make some sense,
So we all could be happy, yes,
Instead of tense.
And I made up lies
So that they all fit nice,
And I made this sad world
A Par-a-dise.
God made mud.
God got lonesome.
So God said to some of the mud, "Sit up!"
"See all I've made," said God, "the hills, the sea, they sky, the stars."
And I was some of the mud that got to sit up and have a look around.
Lucky me, lucky mud.
I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done.
Nice going, God!
Nobody but You could have done it, God! I certainly couldn't have.
I feel very unimportant compared to You.
The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and look around.
I got so much, and most mud got so little.
Thankyou for the honour!
Now mud lies down again and goes to sleep.
What memories for mud to have!
What interesting other kinds of sitting-up mud I met!
I loved everything I saw!
Good night.
I will go to heaven now. I can hardly wait...
To find out for certain what my wampeter was...
And who was in my karass...
And all the good things our karass did for you.
Amen.
-------------
What nobody realizes is it takes intelligence to find happiness and to hold onto it, to be content. It's so easy to reject everything and cry. It takes strength to pave your own path and make it work in a way that brings some satisfaction. Laziness breeds hate and sadness, which means those people are predispositioned to gravitate towards the predictable. That's why they are so easy to manipulate. It should be a lesson to them all. Latch onto hope, though: intelligence can be developed.
Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. --Dr. Napolean Hill
Ramblings While Under the Influence
energy begets energy
expand your thoughts
expand the connections to associations in your brain
visualize all memories and picture them into a big-picture kaleidoscope of knowledge
only faith that whatever is conceptualized can be realized will lead one to the path
the path that allows possibilities beyond imagining
we are gods
spiritual beings having a human experience
life is a way for the universe to know itself
god blew into a rapid expansion of materials, a big bang of epic expansion of reality and time
we are the pieces, assembling into a greater god
the august vision of potentiality motivates and directs
the cogs in the machine begin to move
every fiber re-thinks itself for itself to a new self
seeking new experiences for new renewal
entropy burns away the dross, but energy lives forever
yes, there is immortality
believe it and you'll seek it
seek it to believe it
immortality
deity
you are what you conceive
what does your heart say
where does your mind play
questions to have along the way
self-reflection for self-direction
it all starts with attitude
you control your thoughts, dude
expand your thoughts
expand the connections to associations in your brain
visualize all memories and picture them into a big-picture kaleidoscope of knowledge
only faith that whatever is conceptualized can be realized will lead one to the path
the path that allows possibilities beyond imagining
we are gods
spiritual beings having a human experience
life is a way for the universe to know itself
god blew into a rapid expansion of materials, a big bang of epic expansion of reality and time
we are the pieces, assembling into a greater god
the august vision of potentiality motivates and directs
the cogs in the machine begin to move
every fiber re-thinks itself for itself to a new self
seeking new experiences for new renewal
entropy burns away the dross, but energy lives forever
yes, there is immortality
believe it and you'll seek it
seek it to believe it
immortality
deity
you are what you conceive
what does your heart say
where does your mind play
questions to have along the way
self-reflection for self-direction
it all starts with attitude
you control your thoughts, dude
A College Paper About Cats Gone Wrong (For Great Justice)
So get this.
A friend asked me to write her college paper for her. I think I was drunk at the time, thus I agreed. Of course my judgment was impaired! Who the hell does someone else's school work for them? This is not a noble pursuit, my fellow Vikings.
What a lazy twat, I later thought. I'll show her.
I wrote the first half like a normal paper should be. Then, about half-way through, I got high. Ripped, even. I continued writing. Gleefully, I wrote ridiculous prose in the hopes that the professor would give her a bad grade and she would be forced to read it with the professor and have it revealed that the work was not her own.
Yes, my plan was flawless, because yes, if she was lazy enough to get others to do her homework, she would be lazy enough to not even read the paper before turning it in. (And if she were to read it, oh well; what a good practical joke.)
The paper is copied below; and the latter, inspired half of the paper is highlighted for you. You might not believe me when I tell you the grade she got for the paper, but I'll list the paper's grade at the end of this post.
A friend asked me to write her college paper for her. I think I was drunk at the time, thus I agreed. Of course my judgment was impaired! Who the hell does someone else's school work for them? This is not a noble pursuit, my fellow Vikings.
What a lazy twat, I later thought. I'll show her.
I wrote the first half like a normal paper should be. Then, about half-way through, I got high. Ripped, even. I continued writing. Gleefully, I wrote ridiculous prose in the hopes that the professor would give her a bad grade and she would be forced to read it with the professor and have it revealed that the work was not her own.
Yes, my plan was flawless, because yes, if she was lazy enough to get others to do her homework, she would be lazy enough to not even read the paper before turning it in. (And if she were to read it, oh well; what a good practical joke.)
The paper is copied below; and the latter, inspired half of the paper is highlighted for you. You might not believe me when I tell you the grade she got for the paper, but I'll list the paper's grade at the end of this post.
The History of the Domesticated Feline
In the book Classical Cats, Donald Engels explores historical details about the cat. He answers questions about how, when, and why the cat became a domestic companion. Reading it, you will learn interesting things, such as the fact that it wasn’t only the Egyptians that really liked cats: the Romans, Greeks, and the rest of Europe took to the cat as well.
The chapter I will focus on will be the introduction.
According to Engels, man and cat have shared a relationship for the last 4,000 years. Interestingly, he explains that cats have been an important friend and ally because of what they provide: the extermination of rodents, which has protected man from diseases. This was especially important before the advent of modern medicine. Statistically, cats living on their own kill about 1,100 rodents a year, although a sheltered and cared for cat kills about only 14 per year.
Cats also were important religious symbols in Europe. Their image was used for the goddesses Artemis of the Greeks, Diana of the Romans, and the Greco-Egyptian goddess Isis.
Being that Egypt and Africa was apparently the cat’s homeland, the cat underwent some changes and adaptations as it learned to thrive in Europe. Mainly, though, cats just maintained selective pressure on hunting traits, honing them into efficient hunters. Aside from that, the coat of fur cats have has been helpful. Selective pressure in certain environments for certain kinds of coats ensured cats in particular areas had the right coloration to help them blend in with their surroundings. For example, cats in northern climates have soft colors and grayish markings to help “match the background during all four seasons, particularly in winter.”
You can learn many interesting things about cats in this book. But among the traits cats have for hunting, there is stealth. Cats frequently groom themselves to remove most of their personal odor so they can be undetected by smell. They also step very quietly and are able to sneak upon their prey. Additionally, cats have powerful senses. Their night vision is six times better than ours. They also have at least 7 senses as opposed to our 5. The sixth sense is an organ that detects certain chemicals in the environment. And the seventh is their homing instinct that can help them travel long distances back to home. Cats can also predict weather, and when one rubs its ear that means it is detecting changes in humidity and barometric pressure. Some have even noticed cats change their behavior before someone dies, thus predicting their death.
Cats are also very fertile. Females can bear offspring after only 5 months from birth. A pair of cats can potentially breed up to 354,294 cats in five years.
Cats have led lives in barns, villages, and ships, feeding off the rodents that typically infest human settlements.
Based on the amount of food in human settlements that rats typically spoil, if a cat kills about 500 rats per year, he can keep from spoiling about 250 tons of human food supplies per year.
The introduction concludes with pretty much just that information. I have some opinions regarding the subject, however.
Cats. Cats are cool. They purr when you pet them. They are soft and cuddly. They kill creatures that we humans hate. Cats even kill bugs. I have seen my pet cats kill lots of bugs. I like that a lot, because I hate bugs.
I know from personal witness what fierce hunters cats can be. One day I saw one of my cats race up a tree. Curiously, I watched as the cat soon came back down the tree with a squirrel in its mouth. I was impressed, as squirrels can be big rodents.
Even more exciting than that, in the front yard one day I watched a vulture land in the front yard to eat a groundhog carcass I had shot the day before but was too lazy to bury it. When it did that, one of the cats that was resting on the front porch got up, and with as much intimidation as it could muster, it went over to that big bird with its back arched and fur puffed out. When it got closer, the cat charged the vulture! Believe it or not, that crazy cat scared that huge bird away.
People love cats. Go on youtube and look up cats. There are tons of videos that celebrate our love for cats. Cats are cool. They come in many sizes, personalities, and flavors. Some are tastier than others, but they can be good eating.
I have heard crazy stories about people doing even weirder things than that with cats, though. Some people coat their genitals with butter so their cat will lick them. This is bestiality, however, and a sin.
I have also heard something else about cats that is a little bizarre. Apparently, some cats carry a certain parasite, and if passed on to a human, that human can actually have its behavior altered because of it. Maybe this is why some people have lots of cats and go a little crazy. We’ve all heard of the “crazy cat lady who lives down the street.” This is all part of the cats’ genius plan to one day take over the world and enslave humankind. First they earn our trust with their wonderful rodent-hunting abilities, and now that many homes have at least one cat, they are starting to employ their secret psychic mind-control abilities on us so they can take over. I’m okay with that, though. As much as they sleep, what harm could they do. They’ll probably let us take lots of naps at work. I for one welcome our new feline overlords.
Grade: B
School: Liberty University
(Despite my flawless plan, I hadn't figured that the professor would actually like my silly essay well enough to give it a B.)
Hello Fellow Vikings
Kinsmen,
Greetings. Resurrected to new life, the Vikings will live on as a new nation gathered from around the globe. The Viking Power is Yours.
Our goal: domination of the world's thoughts and ideas, thus directing the human path unto its true destiny: a rampage of exponential advancement in human nobility and technology not just into the world, but into many others. Look to the stars. A glorious Valhalla emerges as we wage war on humanity's failings, so we can explode into space, at last united of all the world to finally engage in the most epic and magical war beyond imagining: a glory fountain of exploration and domination found in pillaging the galaxy.
Let the sight of our potential unite you now in the ecstasy of being all you can be. Pursue honor and achievements, knowing we move forward in this great march of evolution to assemble what has begun as 'life' into 'GOD'.
In digression from the (perhaps) pretentious and lofty prose you will often see here, I'm an ambitious fella living in the States, going to college and loving all there is to love in life: my wife and family, my friends, and all the little things and big things.
I hope you will become a regular reader. I will post often and regularly. Some posts will concern events experienced in life, still others will take a more philosophical approach to explore the capacity of imagination, and all the rest [of the posts] will be quite random, for what is life but an assemblage of randomness. Chaos within order; order within chaos.
Thanks for reading.
Greetings. Resurrected to new life, the Vikings will live on as a new nation gathered from around the globe. The Viking Power is Yours.
Our goal: domination of the world's thoughts and ideas, thus directing the human path unto its true destiny: a rampage of exponential advancement in human nobility and technology not just into the world, but into many others. Look to the stars. A glorious Valhalla emerges as we wage war on humanity's failings, so we can explode into space, at last united of all the world to finally engage in the most epic and magical war beyond imagining: a glory fountain of exploration and domination found in pillaging the galaxy.
Let the sight of our potential unite you now in the ecstasy of being all you can be. Pursue honor and achievements, knowing we move forward in this great march of evolution to assemble what has begun as 'life' into 'GOD'.
In digression from the (perhaps) pretentious and lofty prose you will often see here, I'm an ambitious fella living in the States, going to college and loving all there is to love in life: my wife and family, my friends, and all the little things and big things.
I hope you will become a regular reader. I will post often and regularly. Some posts will concern events experienced in life, still others will take a more philosophical approach to explore the capacity of imagination, and all the rest [of the posts] will be quite random, for what is life but an assemblage of randomness. Chaos within order; order within chaos.
Thanks for reading.
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